


Trust Me

by NellDaie



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, MC is named Emma, Rehabilitation, Self-Esteem Issues, Trust Issues, Vanilla, ray deserved better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2019-01-16 01:33:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12332802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NellDaie/pseuds/NellDaie
Summary: **MAJOR SPOILERS FOR V ROUTE!**Ray deserved better. This is my imagining of Another Story if Ray were allowed to be happy ;_; I'm not a huge fan of V, but I don't plan on bashing him and this will not be an exact copy of the route. There will be smut in later chapters, so it's rated Explicit for that- I think it's going to be pretty vanilla. I want this to be happy and fluffy <3MC is named Emma.





	1. Chapter 1

Emma traced the clear, glittering glass with her fingertips. Her room was much too luxurious, and the windows, though ornate and beautifully manicured, had far too many bars for her liking. But she was here, regardless. She had nothing to return to, and almost as if someone knew the exact moment she was tired of struggling to live, Ray swooped in with an offer she could have- but definitely wouldn't have- refused. The blindfold was weird, but whisking someone who had no lust for life anymore to a secluded and far away place was a godsend. She felt her will to live returning even now- just the thought of being able to start over somewhere new was igniting a fire in her. 

Still, the bars were unsettling. 

She thought all of these things while Ray waited patiently for acknowledgment. He let her take time to survey her surroundings and acclimate to her situation. He watched her delicate fingers trace every surface that he had meticulously scoured to ensure perfection. He knew her favorite colors and the scents she preferred. He hadn't been stalking her  _per se_ , he just hacked into her computer and learned these things about her. He was certain that she wouldn't remember they had met once- before his mother committed suicide, before Saeyoung left him alone- but he remembered. Her image was burrowed into his brain after that day. He had managed to escape from his mother, and planned to go find Saeyoung at church and maybe get some bread. But he got lost and disoriented pretty quick. When rain started pouring down, he just sat in an alley and cried. A tiny girl with chocolate hair ran from the clutches of her mother to ask him if he was okay. She stripped her own jacket off and draped it over his shoulders. Her mother screamed her name and she gave a quick smile and a pat on the head before returning. 

He always wanted to find her again and repay her for that small kindness. And now he could. He would take her to paradise and make her happy every single day of her life. She was now peering at him expectantly, and he went into his carefully practiced spiel of what was expected of her. He reiterated time and time again that the people on her phone were absolutely fake, and she nodded in understanding. As he was leaving, his hand twitched, and before he could stop it, it shot out to grasp some silky strands of hair. He let it glide through his fingers and marveled at the liquid- like properties of it. He kept himself from visibly shuddering at such a stupidly simple act. But he had always,  _always_ dreamt of touching her hair- of feeling it, just like this. He was surprised that she didn't jump at his touch. The Believers were all wary and scared of him, but this woman just stared up at him with trustful doe eyes. 

"I hope...you enjoy your time here." He managed to get out. She smiled that same smile from so many years ago. "I'm sure I will." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days, Emma focused on the task she was given. The AIs were impressively realistic, and she wasn't an idiot. She was certain these were real people, but her main mission now was figuring out why he hated them so much. Also, she would like to know where she was and why she wasn't allowed to leave this floor, but learning about these people would help her learn about Ray. She was drawn to him in the way one might find herself drawn to an abused puppy. Even though he was so well spoken and eloquently dressed, snippets of his true nature bubbled to the surface occasionally. He would talk about his eating and sleeping habits, or let slip a desperate plea for her to stay that would wrench her heart open. 

She couldn't put her finger on it, but she just felt like he needed something. She was going to make it her goal to find out what that something was. As she tapped mindlessly into her phone, she wondered if it was something that needed to be removed from Ray's life. He had been mentioning an 'elixir' lately, so maybe that was something to think about...

_knock knock_

Her head shot up to the door. She opened it quickly to find Ray with a bouquet of her favorite flowers. She smiled, and invited him in. This could be her chance to learn more about him. She placed the flowers in a vase next to her bed and motioned for Ray to join her as she sat down on the plump mattress. He looked around frantically and settled into the couch across from her. She had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. 

"Ray, tell me about yourself..." She started. He immediately looked confused.

"You want to know...about me? Why?" His fingers nervously plucked at the pant legs of his suit. She didn't miss the distinct hint of distrust when he asked 'why', either. 

"Because, I think you're nice and I like you." She felt a bit like she was talking to a child, "You seem to know a lot about me, so it would be fair if I know a bit about you, right?" She asked. He mulled over her question for a moment before answering. 

"Th- that's true...okay...what do you want to know?" Truthfully, she wanted to know everything, but she started simply. 

"What's your favorite food? And what do you do when you aren't working?" He seemed relieved by the ease of her questions, and she mentally patted herself on the back for not coming on too strong. 

"I- I really like ice cream! And...when I'm not working...which isn't often...but I find time to tend to the garden here. You should see it! It has so many beautiful flowers....I really want to show it to you..." She smiled. The way his eyes lit up with excitement made her heart soar. 

"I'd love to see it! I'm so impressed by people that can garden- I have a black thumb, so I can't even keep a cactus alive..." She admitted shamefully. His grin grew wider. 

"I can teach you! It's not so hard, and maybe you can help me with the garden after-" He was cut off by a jingling in his pocket. He pulled his phone out and dark expression replaced the refreshing one he had been wearing. "Yes...yes...I understand. I'll be there in a moment." He shoved his phone back in his pocket and stood up. He wished her a curt goodbye and was out of the room before she could even mumble another word. 

She laid down and stared at the ceiling, etching the lines and curves of his smile into her brain as she fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

"So...what were you talking to that girl about?" Ray could feel the sneaky venom in Rika's voice. He kept himself calm and continued brushing her hair. "Nothing. She wanted to know about me. That's all." There was a special type of terror in knowing someone like Rika. Ray saw every side of her, and his deepest fear was that Emma would be caught up in it. Rika's hand stopped his careful brushing as she looked at him in the mirror. 

"You don't look well, Ray. Do you need another dose?" He swallowed. When Rika "suggested" another dose of the elixir, it was never truly a suggestion. So he just nodded and took his seat on a nearby chair as she fetched some. He thought, as he always did in times like this, why his life had come to this point. Where was it leading? Why did it have to turn out like this? He thought of the brother that betrayed him, and the mother that never loved him, and the absolute desperation he felt every single day to escape from all of that. By the time Rika returned, he was ready for the medicine.

He still hated how bitter it tasted. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emma didn't hear from Ray for the next few days. She tried calling and messaging him at regular intervals, but never received anything in return. The people in the RFA were starting to trust her more, and she felt a heavy weight on her chest. She had actually come to like them all, and if it came down to it, would she betray them to fulfill Ray's wishes? What WERE his wishes? After a long deliberation with her self, she decided that there had to be another path.

She peered out at the moon- wondering if Ray ever stared at it like this. The gentle moonbeams silently gliding across the expanse of lawn she was allowed to see made her think of his pale porcelain skin. She wondered if she touched him, if he would be like the moonlight, and she would find nothing underneath her fingers. She was startled when a sudden knock rang throughout the room. She hurried over, and opened it to find the exact person she had been wanting to see. But he looked...haggard. She welcomed him in, concern showing clearly on her features. 

"Ray...is everything okay?" He walked slowly to her bed and sat down heavily. After so indiscriminately shedding his embarrassment from the other night, Emma knew something was wrong. She sat down quickly next to him and did something her mother always did for her when she didn't seem well. She placed the back of her hand gently on his forehead, and quickly yanked it back.

"I don't...feel well..." He said, his hands shuffling through his hair to clutch at whatever pain was digging through his skull. Emma ran to grab a cup of water and handed it to him. "You're burning up. You need to lie down." He gulped the water down, but didn't make a move to comply with her wish. He stared ahead, a million thoughts a minute seeming to flash through his mind. 

"Why did it turn out like this, Emma?" He asked wearily. 

"Like what?" She asked.

"Like...me, lying to you, taking advantage of you. Those AIs are...real people. You hate me now, right?" He asked, his wide eyes peering up at her. She reached for his suit jacket and managed to slide it off before answering, "I found out pretty quick that they're real people. So you aren't taking advantage of me. I want to help you." He looked utterly shocked. "You knew?" She nodded. 

He smiled for a brief second, before another jolt of pain suffocated his senses. He screamed and grabbed his head again. He wasn't prepared for the warmth that enveloped him when Emma reached out and cradled it to her chest. He had never been so close to anyone like this besides Rika, and never had he felt such gentleness in it. She pulled him down with her and they lay in the bed like that for a moment.

"If you feel bad about lying, then tell me some truths that you can stomach." She said. He nodded, feeling serenely secure in her arms. He closed his eyes. "My brother and I shouldn't have been born..." He went through the worst parts of his life, only omitting his real name. When he finished, Emma was still holding him and listening intently. "So...I was abandoned because I wasn't good enough. I was the weak twin and I couldn't keep up with him. So I'm trying to get better. Please...please don't leave me. I promise I'll be better." He said desperately. She held him tighter.

"You don't have to be  _better_ , you just have to be yourself."

"But who am I?" He asked, panic still seeping through his words.

"You're Ray. You're a boy who likes gardening and ice cream. You have the kindest heart that's been hurt by bad people. You smile at the sky when you think no one is looking. Even now, I know that you're smiling just a little bit because I mentioned it, right?" He wouldn't admit it, but he was. 

"It's because you haven't seen the truly disgusting parts of me." He mumbled against her. 

"You have no disgusting parts, Ray. And even if you did, I would like those too...now hush and go to sleep." She started humming 'You Are My Sunshine'. His eyelids drifted together without him realizing. For the first time in a very long time, he slept through the night. And for the first time in his life, he slept through the night feeling warm and protected. 

Rika watched the two sleeping on the monitor. She didn't realize that she had clenched her fist so tightly, she had drawn blood. She glared at the brown- haired woman. Why would she try to steal something when she was a guest in their home? 

It was about time she met this girl and personally invited her to paradise.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Ray's eyes fluttered open as the sunlight invaded his dreams. He shot up, surprised immediately that he wasn't in a slouched position in his computer chair like he normally was. His eyes scanned the familiar but unknown room around him. They stopped and his mouth went dry when they landed on the sleeping form beside him. Emma's hair was in a messy pool on her pillow, and her eyes were still tightly shut. She had changed into an oversized sleeping shirt at some point, and the collar dipped dangerously low on her tiny frame. He could also see...how thin it was. He let his curiosity and his darker side get the better of his good senses, and he reached a trembling finger out to gently prod a hardened nipple. She made a sound that was extremely close to a moan, and he felt the rest of his body react to it. He was going to wake her up, to kiss her and do all of the dirty things he thought would only be in his darkest dreams to her. Then, his phone rang. He grimaced and picked it up, crawling out of bed as Emma shot up herself, now wide awake. 

"Yes? But I didn't mean to...the database is still secure. I was running a bot- I had a headache. No! I...yes. Yes, okay." He looked at Emma almost mournfully. "Last night was a mistake. I'm sorry for taking up your time and your bed." She shook her head furiously. "No! It's okay, Ray. Are you feeling better?" She asked. He gave her a wry smile. "I was when I woke up, but now...nevermind. You'll find out soon enough." He went against his better judgement and gave her a chaste but lingering kiss on her forehead before leaving. Emma tried to mentally prepare herself from the shitstorm that surely had to be coming. 

V watched as "Ray" left Emma's room. Had he been there the whole night? He felt the concern tightening painfully in his gut. He knew it would take another 30 minutes or so before the other Believers showed up to guard her room. He took his chance and knocked quickly as soon as Ray was out of earshot. Emma answered, asking if he had forgotten something before realizing it was a new visitor this time. V let go of his gentlemanly tendencies and pushed his way into her room. He clasped her shoulders tightly. 

"Emma, we have to get you out of here." He said frantically. "What?" She asked, confused and annoyed. He looked into her eyes pleadingly. "Ri- The Savior has something bad planned for you. I have an idea of what it is, but you don't want any part in it." Emma chewed the inside of her mouth. She knew V, and if he was anything like the way he was in the messenger, he was a secretive but caring person. She knew that he genuinely feared for whatever was coming, and she couldn't deny her own fear starting to percolate. 

"What about Ray?" She asked the only question that truthfully mattered to her. Even more than her own safety, she wanted Ray to be okay. 

"He's too deep in, we can come back for him." He tugged on her arm and she stood stonily still.

"I'm not leaving him. I won't abandon him to save myself." V debated whether or not to use force to make her leave, but decided against basically kidnapping someone. Even if he felt like she were being an absolute idiot in this moment. He sighed. "I'm here for you, Emma. Let me know if you need my help, okay? I'll try to...do what I can." She nodded and thanked him before he exited. 

Ray had taken a shortcut to The Savior's quarters through the server room, and he felt like destroying every goddamn monitor that showed him Emma's room. There was no mistaking that hair, or that voice. He would have to deal with the traitor later, though. And he would definitely need to hide it from The Savior- she was always so overemotional about him and he wanted to have fun. He smirked, briefly elated before remembering the task at hand. He clicked a couple keys and the monitors blinked off.

"Ray...are you liking your new toy?" Rika asked, horribly sweet. She didn't give him a chance to answer before she continued. "I let you bring her here because I thought it would help you concentrate on your work. But you seem to be distracted. So bad boys that get distracted get their toys taken away." His eyes when he looked at Rika held more defiance than she was used to. She couldn't stop her hand when it came swiftly across his cheek. The loud smacking sound filled the room, and he rubbed at the redness starting to appear. Rika wouldn't admit that she loved the red staining his white skin. 

"She's a person...not a toy." He said weakly. His resolve was quickly crumbled, and a smirk toyed at the edges of Rika's mouth. 

"Then bring her here tonight. I'm going to invite her to paradise. If she's not a toy, then she needs to be a Believer."

"But I wanted to give her the elixir!" Ray said, but quickly apologized at the threatening look Rika gave him. She gripped his cheeks painfully in her hand and brought her face up to his. "Don't. Ever. Talk. Back. Do you understand?" She said in a low growl. Her hand tightened at each word until tears were stinging in the corner of Ray's eyes. He managed an agreement and she pushed him away. "Good, now do your work. I'll handle the girl." 

Ray couldn't concentrate. He kept the bot running to manage the infiltration of the messenger software and simply presided over it, making tweaks here and there when needed. He ran through various scenarios in his head, but convinced himself that this was okay. Emma would drink the elixir and then she could stay with him forever, right? Still...he couldn't hide the underlying dread that something was terribly wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A third visitor came to Emma's room that evening. It was a Believer with indistinct features covered mostly in his black hooded garb. She followed him, excited to be leaving the floor she had been confined to. She came to an impressively large door with an ornate Baroque design decorating its visage. It opened quickly and light flooded the otherwise dark hallway in which she had been standing. The Believer made such a hasty exit that Emma hadn't realized he had gone until she stepped inside the room and didn't find him there. The door closed behind her with an ominous, echoing clang and she stared at the person in front of her. 

"Emma, is it?" She asked, running the pads of her fingertips across Emma's body. It was like she were livestock being appraised by a picky buyer. She shuddered at the realization that maybe that's exactly what she was. 

"Yes...and you are?" She asked. Rika smiled a sickeningly saccharine smile. "I'm The Savior. I control everything here." She said. She stopped in front of Emma and put her hands on her shoulders. "Are you thirsty? I have a drink for you. Make sure you don't drink it all, though. I made it really strong..." she said as she handed the glass to her. Emma eyed the liquid suspiciously. At her hesitation, Rika's face grew dark. 

"You don't want it?" She asked flatly. She didn't give time for an answer before her features started to twist. "You don't want my elixir, but you want my Believer?!" Her voice went up an octave and Emma found that she was suddenly in a precarious situation. But she realized too late when Rika pushed her down. She grunted at the weight of the full grown woman on top of her. Her eyes were darting about Emma's face furiously. "You can't have him. Saeran is mine, and he will always be mine. You have no idea how much work went into making him the way he is!" 

Emma was pissed hearing this. "The way he is?! SO THIS IS YOUR FAULT?!" She pushed at the other woman, but Rika's obvious rage made her much stronger. "And wait...who's Saeran?" She asked, suddenly realizing the switch. Rika giggled annoyingly. "He didn't even tell you his real name? I guess I was worried for nothing. But no more chances, it's time for you to go to paradise. If you're worthy, you'll be okay." She said in a bizarrely professional tone before she dug her fingers into Emma's mouth. Before she could fight back, Rika tipped the bottle into her mouth and poured the entirety of the contents down her throat. 

 _Just one sip..._ Rika had said. One hand held Emma's jaw closed while the other pinched her nose shut. The smaller woman had the choice of dying or swallowing the nasty concoction and maybe living. She gulped it down painfully and watched the room around her bleed into a grotesque painting of a nightmare before having a bucket of black paint thrown all over the whole thing. 

Rika stepped off of her. Watched her eyes shut almost immediately. The girl was still breathing, though. She was impressed. It was a REALLY strong dose. She called Ray, and she watched his face carefully as he surveyed the girl. She could tell he was holding back a bit, and she got an intense rush of pleasure when he simply picked her up and obeyed her orders to bring her to her room without another word. He really didn't look liked he cared that much about her after all. Maybe she was worried for nothing. 

Ray started running as soon as the door closed behind him. He wasn't the strongest physically, but his need to get Emma to her room as quickly as possible was driving his legs inexorably forward. By the time he laid her on her silky sheets, he was sweating and had to catch his breath for a moment. He only allowed himself a moment before he was examining her. He opened her eyelids and watched her eye focus and unfocus, roll forward and back. She was starting to sweat as well, and he tapped her cheek, whispering her name frantically to get any reaction. She opened her eyes for only a second and choked out "Saeran..." Before diving back into her stupor. 

This was bad. This was really fucking bad. If she told Emma his real name, it meant...she wasn't supposed to make it through this. NO ONE was allowed to know his birth name. He bit his lip and resigned himself to his fate of being alone. He wanted Emma to stay forever, and if she had only taken a sip of the elixir, he would have been giddy with joy at this moment. But she would never find paradise like this unless it was in death.

He left her room reluctantly, and went in search of V.


	4. Chapter 4

He scanned the monitors for the distinct hair, but couldn't find it- V was at least smart enough to keep his hood up. Ray grunted in frustration and left the server room to search on his own two feet. He found V after a few moments of frantic searching, right where his Believer classification would designate him to be. He tried to make a hasty exit when he saw the younger man coming towards him, but was too late, and found himself being dragged to a indistinct corner. 

"Listen, I need you to leave." V was surprised at the almost pleading tone Saeran had. "Rika gave Emma A LOT of the elixir. If you don't get her to a hospital soon, she'll die." V stared incredulously. If this was a trap, it was very well done. "Tell me when you can get that redhead here, and I'll make sure you have a way out. But hurry- if she dies, I'm going to make sure to have a lot of fun with you." 

V watched at the retreating form. He had no recourse at this point, so he signed into the messenger and sent Seven the code word for his coordinates. V had an ETA for his friend within the hour. He found Ray, hidden in a throng of Believers that were cautiously asking about the next batch of elixir. He leaned in close so as not to be overheard. "He'll be here in about 2 hours. In the meantime, can I see her? I have something that should help." Ray stared ahead, glowering. He mouth was set in a hard line, but he nodded. 

Within a half hour, V was standing in front of Emma, watching the horrid display of someone overdosing from the amalgamation of chemicals that the elixir contained. He pulled out a black, chalky liquid from his robe. Ray grabbed it immediately. "What is this?" He demanded, his distrust for V coming out with bitter malice. "It's for people that ingest poison. I brought it because I thought this might happen to me...I never thought that someone innocent would..." He trailed off, watching Emma convulse in a sweaty lump. The sheets under her were soaked. Ray felt the twinge of guilt coiling around his heart like a Boa Constrictor- tightening, tightening. He leaned down and stroked Emma's bangs away from her face tenderly. She opened her eyes for a second, smiling weakly, before dipping back into her living nightmare. He tried to think of a way to get Emma to drink, but there was no possible way in the state she was in. 

"Hey...I have to get her to drink this, so...look somewhere else." He told V, who complied, but curiously tried to catch a glimpse out of the corner of his eye. Saeran knew he could see, but couldn't waste time with shyness. He tipped the liquid into his mouth and held Emma's head. He tipped her chin up and placed his lips delicately over hers. His tongue probed and found entrance, after which the liquid poured in. She reacted almost immediately, and struggled a bit before swallowing it down. He let his lips linger for a moment longer, trying to paint this moment forever into his memory. The circumstances could have been much, MUCH better, but  _GOD_ , how sweet it was to finally be so close to her. If this hellish caricature of intimacy was all he could get, that was fine. He truly felt like it was the only version he deserved. He pulled back reluctantly, watching her face carefully. 

V felt like an intruder on something he should have never seen. It wasn't the kiss, which served a vital function and had all the seductiveness of CPR to an onlooker, but it was the raw, unbridled emotion Saeran had when he looked at the girl. He realized with a start, though it really should have come at no surprise given all that he was willing to sacrifice for her, that this boy really loved her. He used to imagine, when him and Rika first became acquainted with the twins, that they would save them from their terrible lives and he would get to hear about their exploits with girls and school and normal things that teenage boys experience. He remembered how his heart was ripped apart when they learned about exactly who their father was- it was then that he felt so much pity for them, knowing that they couldn't have normal lives if they wanted to continue living. He checked his phone,  when Saeran glanced at him, angry that someone he hated had seen such a vulnerable side. 

Emma was coughing, and V grabbed her trashcan- even something that's simply meant to hold trash looked like it was carefully chosen for the curation of this room. He felt a bit bad placing it under her as she started vomiting. Saeran fixed him with a murderous glare. "This is supposed to happen." V said quickly, "It binds to the liquid in her stomach and forces it out." Saeran's bleached hair bobbed as he nodded, trying to stay calm and trying to ignore the snake threatening to crush his heart. He stood up, finally. "Can you leave for a moment?' He asked. V was quick to comply, and stepped just outside of the room, trying to stay hidden in the event of an unexpected visitor. 

When they were alone, Saeran dipped down to stroke Emma's hair again. She had calmed down significantly after vomiting everything that was in her stomach in an ominous black mass into the wastebasket. He wasn't sure if she would be able to hear him until her eyes opened slightly and finally focused on him. "Emma, V is going to take you out of here. I screwed up somewhere and The Savior wants you to die. I'm sorry that I ruined this. I don't know where I went wrong." He started the slideshow he had been playing in his mind since this happened and tried to find the errors he had made. Emma's clammy hand reached for his and grasped it tightly. 

"Your name is Saeran, isn't it?" She croaked out. He nodded. "Saeran...I can't leave you. Please...come...with..."She passed out. He frowned, knowing that she didn't realize how impossible that request was, especially now. He kissed her forehead, tasting the saltiness of her perspiration as he did so. "I love you, Emma. Please be well." And with that, he stood up, and allowed V to re-enter as he retreated. 

He made a mad dash to Rika. He didn't bother knocking before he entered her room. He startled her slightly as he entered. "You have to get the believers out of here. That redhead found us and he's not coming alone." Saeran was certain that this wasn't true, but he wasn't going to risk Mint Eye being taken out. Rika trusted her pawn implicitly when it came to this, and quickly packed the few things she would need. An alarm sounded throughout the building as Saeran returned to his room- finding comfort in the soft glow of the monitors even now. He watched the mass exodus of people, but when he checked on the progress of his estranged brother, he found that he was moving much faster than V predicted. He realized in horror that the headquarters wouldn't be cleared out before his arrival. No matter...he would have to make due with the hand he was dealt.

V received the call from Seven that he was outside. He told him to keep the car running, and picked Emma up easily. Her form felt so frail in his arms. He dashed to the front, fighting through the mass exodus of Believers, none of them stopping long enough to notice Emma. When he finally reached outside, the bright sports car stood out like a shining beacon of hope. He felt like Gatsby dashing towards it. But unlike Gatsby, he reached it, and his heart soared in relief. That was, until Emma clamored out of his grasp. The rain started coming down in rivulets, because God had a sense of humor and didn't think the situation was precarious enough. Sure, let's add a torrential downpour to that. Emma was lucid, looking around at the chaos. 

"Emma, we have to go!" V shouted. "The side- effects are going to start hitting you and we have to get you to a hospital!" She looked from V to Seven and settled on Seven's features when something hit her. "That's why he hated you so much..." She mumbled. Neither man could make out what she was saying, but before they could ask, she had turned on her heel and started running back. Seven cursed and put the car in park, planning to go after her before being stopped by V. "I'll go after her. Stay here, but if things get dicey, leave and tell Jumin." 

Emma's legs felt like jelly, but she urged them forward. She ignored the sharp rocks that bit at her bare feet. Mud splattered up and she idly wondered if her top was ruined. Then, she met a large rock and plummeted forward. Yep, definitely ruined. She grimaced, looking down at her bloodied knees. V was shouting her name behind her but she forced her aching body up and continued. She headed for the crowd of people and saw Ray...no, Saeran, with that woman guiding people into vans. She pushed past a few and finally stood in front of them. Saeran looked utterly panicked.

"Saeran, come with me!" She said, holding her hand out. Rika's face grew darker than the clouds in the sky. 

"Was this a ruse, Ray?" She asked, much too sweet. He gulped. Rika's usually publicly calm demeanor fell apart then, and she started screeching at him. She was calling him a useless mistake, a piece of shit, telling him he should have never been born. He cringed, ready for the hitting when he realized that he was looking at his mother. Watching Rika fall apart was so unsettling because that's who she became. He looked from her to Emma and....just saw Emma. She was bloodied and unsteady on her feet but she was Emma. The wind howled as she mouthed something.

He realized he was crying and had fallen to his knees. What was she saying? He could only hears Rika's bellowing. Then he focused on her lips.  _Trust me...._ that's what Emma was saying. Her hand was still there, waiting. But why his hand? Why did she need him? But when Rika's hand shot forward, ready to strike at any part of him she could reach in her fury, his instincts as a child that he thought were long forgotten kicked in. He lurched forward and took the hand offered. It was soft and warm, just as he remembered it. They both sprinted, Emma leading as he tried to piece together what was happening. V followed close behind, but they could also hear Rika give chase. Emma's legs buckled, and Saeran didn't miss a beat when he picked her up and V took the lead to get everyone to the car.

He saw the shocked looks on his friend's face, and felt the guilt welling up inside. It was especially worse when Luciel's shock was met with a hateful stare from the back seat when he long lost twin scrambled in. There was no time for emotions or anything, though, and the redhead pressed his foot down as far as it would go and fishtailed away from the cult headquarters. V saw by the white knuckles clutching the steering wheel that there would be a lot to talk about when they reached their safe house.  


	5. Chapter 5

Vanderwood did not understand many things about 707. He didn't understand why he was dragged along into what sounded like a lover's quarrel, he didn't know why this was more important than agency work, and he certainly didn't understand why he was being asked to vacate the only room in this tiny cabin for some girl who looked like she just got through a rugby match.

"So...is cloning your thing now?" He asked, his eyes darting between the two men. "Also, why does he look like he came back from Cirque du Soleil?" He was sincerely hoping that his little joke would cut the tension, but he just got a glower from both. The 707 clone lead the girl to the room. He thought things would be peaceful for a moment, until the distinct sound of a fist coming into contact with a face filled the room instead. His head whipped over to see V holding a nose that was pouring blood. 

"You son of a bitch. Why does he look like that- why THE FUCK DOES SAERAN LOOK LIKE THAT?!" He was trying to keep his voice down, but his rage got the better of him. V said nothing, and looked downward mournfully. Seven grabbed his robe and pushed against the wall. "You really need to give me some answers, V. I'm getting really close to my breaking point here." Vanderwood looked on, alarmed. He had only been with the ginger on a few assignments, and during the only one in which he actually killed anybody, he had the exact same look in his eyes. 

"707...just calm down..." He tried. But only V's words got him to back down a bit. "I'm sorry...by the time I saw what Rika had done to him, it was too late...." 

"BULLSHIT!" Seven let go of him and pushed his fingers through his hair. Vanderwood had absolutely never seen THIS side to his partner. He was crying, but it looked like he was crying out of frustration as a litany of curses spilled from his mouth. He grabbed a first aid kit to attend to the light haired man and hoped that the two in the room were having a better time. 

"So how long until the side effects appear?" Emma, asked, watching Saeran stalk around the room like a caged tiger. He didn't seem to hear her, and instead seemed to be in a world of his own. She stood up and grabbed his hand- it was still shaking. She peered into his eyes. "Saeran, how long do I have until the side effects?" She asked again. He answered her this time, "about 12 to 24 hours. You're going to feel kind of good, and then your body is going to break down when it doesn't get more."  

"What about you? Aren't you taking it? You'll go through withdrawals as well..." He stared into her golden brown eyes, feeling so helpless and lost.

"Jesus Christ, Emma. You should be concerned about yourself, don't worry about me."

"I'll decide who I worry about, thank you very much." She pouted, and for a moment he thought that she looked really cute. He couldn't stop the smile that reached his lips. She smiled back. "Hey..." she started, feeling a little shy now, "this room has a bathtub, right? I need to wash these scrapes." She gestured at her knees, and he felt bad that he had forgotten them. "Right! Then, I'll leave." He started hurrying towards the door but she grabbed his arm. He looked back and her face was flushed. "If...if I might be having really bad side effects...then I want to be with you...tonight..if that's okay...." She trailed off, hoping he understood what she was trying to say. When the color of his cheeks matched her own, she knew he did.

Saeran was in a difficult situation. If he was going to be with Emma, he wanted it to be special, but his other option was leaving the room and dealing with the reality of seeing his brother that had abandoned him. He mentally slapped himself, knowing what the obvious answer was. Seven looked so fucking guilty, he probably wouldn't dare bother them. He let himself be lead into the bathroom, and watched the water fill the tub. If this were at the Mint Eye HQ, he would've had lavender and rose petals dancing on the surface. Instead, he watched her hand glide along the glittering water, watching the droplets as they plopped down when she brought her hand to her shirt. 

 _Holyshitholyshitholyshit...._ was the only thing going through his mind when she stripped it off. Piece by piece, her clothing fell to the floor until she was completely bare before him. Despite her cuts and abrasions, he thought that she was absolutely the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She climbed into the tub and waited, covering her body a bit as her modesty started to awaken. "You should get in, too...your hair is still wet from the rain..." she mumbled. She made an effort to look away, but when she heard his own clothes start coming off, she realized that she had been curious a few times about what was underneath the pristine suit. She wasn't prepared for the scars- so many that decorated his skin like a grotesque garden of torture. She also wasn't prepared for the tattoo....or the shock of red hair around his...

She blushed, realized she's been staring. And he wasn't exactly soft, either- she was a little proud of herself that she had elicited such a reaction. She couldn't deny that her own body was starting to do the same- though definitely not as obvious as it would be on a man. Still, as Saeran climbed in the the bathtub behind her, he noticed her peaked nipples and the flush spreading on her neck. He begged his darker side to calm down, not to take her right there. He felt that same uncomfortable battle for control he felt the morning he had woken up with her. He bit his lip, grabbed a rag and started scrubbing her body. He was particularly gentle and soft when he reached her knees, but given that she had to lean closer into him for him to be able to reach, another part of him was becoming decidedly hard. She felt it, and let out a soft sigh at the contact. 

He wanted to see how far he could go- how close did she want to be with him tonight? He brought the rag above her knees in slow, leisurely circles. He started applying more pressure, and at some point he lost the washrag entirely. It was now just his hands- massaging and probing her thighs. Her head leaned back onto his shoulder. He traveled up more until he reached the tiny curls between her legs. Her lips parted and her tongue snaked out to lick her lips. He swallowed, and dipped his finger in between her folds. She let out a loud whimper, and he thought vaguely if the others in the cabin could hear, but that thought was vanquished almost immediately when she rolled her hips against his erection. 

He massaged her clit, experimenting with what felt good- his fingers were nimble and capable of typing out complicated code in a millisecond, so he imagined that there was a code he could discover here- one that would bring her to the brink. His other hand reached around and grasped a hard nipple, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. An assortment of consonants and vowels spilled from her lips, and her breathy panting was becoming more needy sounding. She was rubbing against him and driving him absolutely insane. He had pleasured himself maybe a couple of times in his life, but the buildup was never like this. 

Suddenly, her hand was placed on his, halting his ministrations. He looked at her, scared that she didn't want to go this far. She tipped her head back and kissed him, deeply, longingly. Her tongue danced and probed every portion of his mouth. It felt like she was slowly devouring him. He let out a mewling moan of his own when she finished the kiss, and he was surprised at the sound of it. "The bed...I want all of you..." she whispered against his ear. It didn't take anymore than that and his self control was out the window. He stood out of the tub and picked her up. He tossed her on the pristinely made bed and started kissing every inch of her body. Her back arched and her fingers ran through his hair. He knew that they were being loud, but the only thing that mattered to him right now was showing her how much he had always loved her. 

He towered above her and kissed her sweetly. He was positioned at her entrance but stopped, amidst of gaggle of protests from his partner. "Remember what I said to you after you were given the elixir?" He asked, wanting to make sure she knew. "Say it again." She said, breathy and so much more erotic than he thought possible. "I love you." He said, a finger coming up to stroke her cheek. Her eyes fixed on his when she answered, "I love you, too, Saeran." That was all he could ever want. He entered, slowly, unsure of the exact nature of what they were doing. He had certainly never experienced sex before. But his instincts took over, and he was sliding in and out of her, grabbing her breasts and reveling in the feel of them in his hands. She ran her own hands along his back and it prickled with unease at first- he had only really ever felt pain on his bare skin before. But Emma was gentle and nurturing, it was driving him forward and he started to work into a frenzy. 

He dug his hands into her hips as he grabbed them, and started thrusting harder. She was writhing beneath him and begging him to go deeper and faster. "I'm...so...close..." She panted out. He answered with a groan and buried his face in her neck. He was almost there. He felt like this was the real paradise, not anything that Rika had mentioned at Mint Eye- no, right here, buried within the woman he loved- that was where true happiness was. Her core clenched around him so perfectly tight when she came. Her fingers buried into the sheets and he placed a hand over her mouth so the others wouldn't hear. He didn't want anyone to hear that sound from her but him- it was the most perfect music he could imagine. He screamed into her neck, and spilled into her while she stroked his hair. He repeated "I love you, I love you..." As he came down from his high. He fell on top of her, sweaty, out of breath, and happier than he had ever been in his entire life. 

They stayed like that for a little while, and Saeran truly wanted to just stop time, put this moment in an empty hourglass and stay like that forever. But Emma roused him from that pleasant fantasy by tapping his shoulder. She smiled, but it was a bit sad and worried. "Shouldn't we talk to your brother now?"

Why couldn't he have just stopped time?


	6. Chapter 6

Vanderwood flushed, knowing exactly what had just transpired in the room. He was a bit jealous- it had been a VERY long time since he had been with any woman, and the one they brought with them was pretty cute. He looked at the two silent men across the room. They were both lost in their own worlds and didn't even notice the sounds that had managed to escape the room. The door creaked, and both heads shot to the direction the sound came from. 

"So...did you and Seven talk, V?" Emma asked cautiously, noting the tissue shoved in his nostril. He smiled wryly. "Doesn't it look like we talked?" Emma walked over to Seven's figure- he had been trying to pretend that he was listening to music, but she knew he was listening. She sat down next to him. "You should talk to Saeran...he's in the room...." Without another word to the peanut gallery, he made quick exit to the room. 

He closed the door and stared. Saeran had only thrown on some lounge pants that had belonged to Vanderwood, and sat on the bed- refusing to look at the source of his betrayal all these years. Seven's eyes roamed over the scars- some he had known from their mother, and other's that he didn't remember. He tried to fit this same person into the mold he had envisioned when he got lonely at the agency and would think of his brother. Even in his deepest fears, he never imagined this would be the result. He felt bile rise in his throat at the sheer amount of lies that had been piled up over the years whenever he asked V about his twin. 

"If we have that twin sense thing...can you feel how broken my heart is right now?" Seven asked, taking a couple steps forward. Saeran continued staring ahead, but a glimmer of pity reflected in his visage. "Did we ever have it?" He replied flatly. Seven managed to reach the bed and sat down in the chair next to it. "I don't have any right to be asking anything of you, Saeran...but please...can you do me a favor?" His other half didn't answer, but simply turned his head to stare at him expectantly. "Say my name...my real name..."

"....Saeyoung." He said, realizing how bitter it tasted after crying and screaming that name for months in a damp, dark cell. Saeyoung closed his eyes and tears poured down his cheeks. Still, he seemed happy. "I was told you were fine...I asked V every Christmas and every birthday to give me updates. And he lied through his fucking teeth and told me you were fine..." Saeran glowered, not ready to let go of the hatred that had driven him through the hardest times of his life. 

"And what if you found out I wasn't?! Would you have dropped everything? Would you have given up your cars, your house and your fucking RFA to come and get me?!" Saeran stood up now, balling his fists tightly. Saeyoung stood up too to face him. 

"I would have!" He shouted back. As guilty as he felt, he would never let ANYONE say that he wouldn't have given up anything and everything for his brother. 

"DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME! YOU GODDAMN HYPOCRITE!" Saeran flung forward and knocked the other man down. He punched him in the jaw, but had no real force or conviction behind the act. He towered over his brother and stared into the eyes he used to find so much comfort in. And he remembered how hard Rika had worked to make him hate those same features. Saeyoung felt a tear drip on his cheek before Saeran collapsed in a heap on him. He sobbed into his shoulder. 

"I waited...I waited so long for you...why couldn't have just come to get me? I waited..." Saeyoung realized he was sobbing just as much, and they held each other like that, letting out all of the frustration and anger they had. Saeyoung didn't want to let go, but the moment passed and Saeran sat up, wiping his red face on the sheet as they rested their backs against the bed. He sniffled, still refusing to make eye contact, and Saeyoung couldn't stop his smile. He finally got to see a glimpse of the slightly smaller, slightly younger brother he had grown up with. He was a boy that would cry so easily, but would never meet his eyes because it embarrassed him so much. 

"I missed you, bro." He said, when Saeran finally met his eyes and glowered. "Did you...really not know?" He asked. "I still don't know exactly what happened to you." Saeyoung answered. Saeran took a deep breath and relayed when Rika took him in. "For months, she had me locked away in the dark. She wanted me to stop believing that you would come. And she kept giving me doses of this drug. I actually held out for a long time. But she gave me a huge dose, and I almost died. When I woke up, I believed everything. Because you still weren't there. But she was. She eventually started showing me what you talked to the others about in the RFA chat room, and I got so angry because you looked so happy. She told me about you going to college, buying nice things, having friends...these are all things that I could never have." He finished up and saw the dark look that overtook his brother's face. He stood up suddenly.

"Hold on...I have to go do something." Saeyoung left the room. Saeran heard a loud smack and the brown- haired man he had met cursing. "Dammit, Seven! His nose just stopped bleeding!" He returned, with Emma trailing behind him. Saeran smiled, he knew he should feel guilty since V had helped them out so much recently, but the Choi twins were both still pretty bitter about the years of lying that hindered their bond. 

"Did you guys work things out?" Emma asked. Saeran shrugged. "More or less." Saeyoung answered. "But more importantly, we need to get some sleep. The side effects are going to hit you guys hard, right?" Saeran chewed his lip. "I need you all to do me a favor..." He started. 20 minutes later, after much coercing and pleading, Saeran laid on the right side of the bed with one hand resting peacefully on his belly, and the other securely handcuffed to the post. Emma laid down next him. "Are you sure this is the only way? That can't be comfortable..."

"I don't want to take any chances. If I'm not myself...I don't want to go back to Mint Eye. Once we're in a hospital, they'll keep me from doing anything stupid." She still didn't like the sound of it, but she nodded anyway. She didn't realize how grateful she would be for the cuffs later. 

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Everyone was sleeping peacefully. The two lovers, of course, had the room, while everyone else was sprawled out in the living area of the cabin. Emma was awakened by a rough clanging next to her. She looked, and Saeran was violently jerking on his requested shackles. She looked over, alarmed, and realized he was having a nightmare. She could make out snippets of "Mommy" or "No", but most of it was intelligible. He started screaming and his eyes snapped open. He looked at Emma pleadingly. "Emma...I need you to uncuff me. I need more medicine..." Tears started streaming down his face. "Please...I can't sleep. The nightmares won't stop, mommy will hurt me and she'll hurt you too..." Emma was immediately alarmed at the illogical nature of his claims. 

She patted him on the hand and threw the covers off. She promised him she would find him something and slipped quietly into the room where the others were sleeping. She walked up to Vanderwood and carefully tapped him on the shoulder. He opened his eyes from his pleasant dream of being buried in a mountain of cash, ladies, and 25 year old Glenmorangie scotch to see two large eyes peering at him expectantly. He also saw the spare t-shirt he had brought and nothing else. He smirked and wrapped his arms around the woman, pulling her in. Emma felt his...excitement and blushed, pushing back furiously. "I need your help with Saeran!" She whisper-shouted. He frowned. "I thought you were just feeling lonely." She shook her head and glared at him. Her pouty face really was adorable. He stood up and stretched, "fiiine. What's the problem?" Emma told him and he quickly found his questionable first aid kit. She noticed that it had everything a first aid kit SHOULD have, plus, many things that she was certain were completely illegal. He pulled out one of these illegal things that was loaded into a syringe. "This will knock him out pretty quick, and keep him knocked out until we can get him to a hospital." He explained. 

Emma led him to Saeran, and felt guilty at his betrayed look. "Emma, did you bring more..no...what are you-?" And he was out like a light. Emma thanked Vanderwood and laid down again next to her lover. She made a silent prayer that she would never see that look on Saeran's face again. She also dearly hoped that they could have a life when all of this was over. She had no family left, and this crazy bunch of people she met, along with someone whom she fell in love with so deeply, were quickly becoming family to her. She fell asleep dreaming of a new life filled with all of the purpose she had lost. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a side note that I fucking love Vanderwood and I wish I could put him in this story more than he is ToT


	7. Chapter 7

Ray was drifting along his subconscious in a hazy sea of regrets and loneliness. He adjusted his suit, knowing full well that this was some odd fever dream, but determined to make it through, regardless. As he thought that, another him appeared to his right. He stared at the red, ripped shirt and the the leather jacket. It was him...but not him at all. "Why do you look so confused?" the other him asked. "Because," he answered, in an almost dreamy tone, "you're me but..."

"unknown." The circus mirror image finished for him.

"Yeah, unknown."

"Nope, that's my name. Because I'm a part of you that you were too afraid to know, Ray." Unknown said his pseudonym with such malice that he was taken aback. 

"That's...that's not really my name..." he answered, meek and shuddering. The other him peered down at him mockingly. 

"Yes it is. Let me ask you, if you take the wheels off of a bike, is it still a bike?"

"Yeah..."

"WRONG. It's useless trash until you put the wheels back on it. YOU alone aren't Saeran anymore than I am." Unknown chastised him. Ray shrank, watching as a distant memory of getting ice cream with Saeyoung floated by. He tried to focus on the happy memories, but one- by- one they were popped like bubbles by his darker half. 

"I want to leave." Ray said, more childish sounding than he ever wanted to be. 

"Too bad..." Unknown answered, pausing briefly to focus on the memory of the first time his mother got drunk and denied him food, "because I'm keeping you here until you accept me. I'm fucking tired of sleeping because you're too goddamn weak to face the negative parts of yourself."

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"Vanderwood, I swear to God, if Saeran doesn't wake up, I'll murder you myself!" Saeyoung jerked the wheel of his formerly shiny red car as he took a sharp turn off of the dirt road that led to the cabin. The object of his frustration was thrown against the passenger side door painfully. "He'll be fine! ....I think." He added, and regretted it as soon as a hand lurched out and pulled him to the driver. Never taking his eyes off the road, he reiterated his previous statement. Emma watched from the backseat, feeling guilty that her concern had caused this. Vanderwood said that while Saeran should stay knocked out, it was a good idea to rouse him briefly to make sure that he hadn't slipped into a coma. He didn't wake up, and chaos ensued. Emma started to feel nauseous herself, and was grateful that while Seven refused to slow down, he took his braking and turns a little more carefully. 

V tried to reassure her that everything would be okay, but looking at the situation, Emma was afraid. Maybe it was the drug- she was pretty sure depression was a part of the process in coming off of it- but she started thinking that there was no possible way that this situation could get worse. That was the moment that she lost track of everything because she was thrown into the abject horror of the side effects from the drug. 

"Seven...if it's not too much trouble, you may need to pull over...." V said politely from the backseat. Seven looked in the rearview and saw Emma lurched over and preparing to puke her guts out. He cursed, and pulled over long enough for V to tip her out of the car, holding her hair back gingerly all the while. Vanderwood dug into his first aid kit and pulled out an emergency bag for vomit. He threw it to V as the car continued it's lightning fast journey to the nearest hospital. V looked at Emma, now passed out, and Saeran, and grimaced. It was like some kind of fucked up Norman Rockwell painting- he felt like a father taking care of his children, but making every mistake possible so that the outcome was horrific, instead of picturesque. If he knew that this would be the result, would it have been better to leave the boys with their mother? Does controlling a situation necessarily mean that you can decide a better outcome? Is it hubris or humility that drove him all this time? 

His head hurt thinking about all of this. He shook it, and focused on making sure that from this point forward, he would only do what he knew he could. He wouldn't be arrogant and decide futures that weren't his to live. He stroked Saeran's head, which had fallen into his lap after Emma took a dive, and tried to remember if there was anything his mother had done for him when he felt unwell. He couldn't think of anything, so he sat quietly and begged God in his head to help the twins find peace. 

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"This is sincerely fucked up." Ray backed away but couldn't find a stopping point in the crisply white nothingness. 

"What's fucked up is the fact that I exist at all! You know people get locked away for their entire lives if they have multiple personalities?? Are you going to be a vegetable shoved in the back of a freezer or are you going to be a wildflower able to bloom wherever you please?" Unknown asked. Ray was impressed by his poetic, but still hateful tone. Another memory popped up from the term 'wildflower'. Ray and Unknown watched as a young Saeran carefully placed a wildflower that Saeyoung had brought him on his way back from church. He tried to pause it before the memory grew dark, but Unknown refused, and so it kept playing. After his wonderment faded, he saw the shattered glass and the helpless flower laying on the carpet. He felt the sting again, and watched the blood slowly form a path down his forehead. 

"That's right...mom was mad because I answered the door earlier while she was passed out...." She had picked up the closest thing she could, which happened to be his vase. It was one of the few things he owned, and the pain when it shattered on his skull was so much deeper than physical. He tried to cover his ears when her screeching started, but Unknown was behind him, and held his hands firm. 

"This is when it started, isn't it?" Unknown whispered in his ear, "This is when you started cutting out the bad things...this is when you started imagining a different you, wasn't it?" Ray continued his wall-eyed stare into the movie of his past. He nodded, almost perceptibly, but it was there. Unknown smiled. 

"Good boy...now let's continue."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...ma......Emma...." Her eyes shot open. Emma tried to leap out of bed but found that she couldn't move. She looked pleadingly at V, who had woken her from her weird dreams. He smiled, and she found that she was actually comforted by it. "V...what's going on?" She asked the obvious question, shaking her hands in her shackles for emphasis. She looked around, and made the connection that she was in a hospital room, but wondered where everyone else was- especially Saeran.

"You might not remember, but you were pretty violent by the time we got you here. Depression and uncontrolled fits of rage are now confirmed side- effects of Rika's elixir, I guess. Saeran might have been the same if..." He cut himself off suddenly. Emma glared. "IF WHAT?' She asked, her voice dangerously low. V cleared his throat, and reminded himself that he didn't want to keep secrets anymore. "...if he had woken up. But he's in a coma so the doctors are just waiting for now. They're keep a close watch on his vitals and brain activity, and they said everything looks fine. They said by all accounts, he just looks like he's sleeping..." Emma's eyes teared up before she felt an overwhelming heat build up within her. She screamed and yanked at her bindings. They didn't falter in the purpose, but her thrashing caused her heart rate to skyrocket, setting off a bevvy of alarms. Nurses came in droves, and V watched as they subdued her with a syringe in her neck. 

Maybe he should keep  _some_ secrets until the side- effects wore off...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a shorter chapter and I'm sorry for that ;_; Work has been busier lately and I started having a bit of writer's block and wasn't sure where I was going to go with the story. I have an idea now, though, so the next update shouldn't take as long! Thank for everyone that has been reading up to this point! ^_^

Saeyoung adjusted his position in the uncomfortable hospital chair. He had been trying to get through some work for the agency on his laptop, but kept finding his thoughts drifting. He thought about when he left, and tried to convince himself again that it was for the best that he left Saeran alone. But looking at the situation...he couldn't deny that outcome was pretty terrible. He thought that Saeran would be able to escape- during the singular outing they had together, he saw that strangers could see the gentle, loving nature of his brother like he could. Though they looked alike, they were drawn to Saeran as if he were a newborn fawn. Maybe it was that delicate innocence that drove him to this point. He watched the monitors beep in confirmation that everything biological was working before returning to his work.

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"1...2...3...4...are you going to make me count to 5?" His mother asked. Saeran crouched in the tiny closet him and his brother shared. Tears that he thought could no longer come were blanketing his faded jeans in moisture. "...FOUND YOU." His mother's wide eyes bored into him as the fluorescent light exploded in his hiding place. She yanked him out roughly, and he squeaked when he felt a muscle twist unnaturally. 

"WHERE IS HE?!" The memory slowly bled away, but this odd hall of memories repeated those words like a broken record. Then, in his own voice: "where are you, Saeyoung?" It was like a murder of crows all squawking at each other out of sync. This time, he succeeded in covering his ears. He felt the pain again from the question that plagued him so incessantly. When he opened them, he was facing Unknown again. 

"So, what happened next?" He asked.

"Rika saved me. Because mom stopped giving me food...and then I went to Mint Eye...." He mumbled. The voices came back full force and made Ray feel like his ears were going to bleed. The symphony of chaos ended suddenly when another memory came into focus. 

"He's not here." He watched his 15 year old self say. Unknown watched almost adoringly. "This is where I really came to fruition. When that drug told you it was okay to cram down all of the bad things, you created the other you that WAS all of the bad things. But that left you weak, vulnerable and fucking pathetic."Ray shook his head vigorously. "No! I'm...I'm not...Emma liked me for who I am..." He started to trail off. Unknown smirked. "She liked me, too....don't you remember?" He asked. A memory popped up to prove his point "

_"You have no disgusting parts, Ray. And even if you did, I would like those too..."_

Ray swallowed. "What do you want from me?" He asked, feeling fully at his wit's end. Unknown sighed. "I want you to accept that I'm a part of you. I need you to stop rejecting me. This is my only chance...either you'll accept me, or I'll pull you down with me." Unknown's eyes were almost savage when he said this, and Ray swallowed the lump in his throat that wouldn't go away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emma rubbed her eyes wearily. Or, at least she tried to. Her restraints clanged a painful reminder of her situation. V woke up as soon as the sound rang throughout the room. He peered at her anxiously. 

"How long has it been?" She asked.

"...a few days." 

"Is Saeran stil...out?" She asked, unsure of how to word the question. When she didn't feel the rage overflowing within her, she was hopeful that the worst of the side effects were gone. She relayed this to V, who nodded slowly. 'Yeah, the doctor said that it seemed to be gone from your blood tests. They'll release you soon." He said, giving her a weak smile. 

"V...what's wrong?" 

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I wanted to check on Saeran more, but...Luciel won't really let me in the room right now. But now that I know you're okay, I'm going to go wrap some things up." He said, standing and grabbing his wallet and phone from the table next to him. She knew exactly where he was going.

"Please...keep Rika away from him..." Emma gave one last plea before he stepped out of the room. She now felt the stifling silence surrounding her. She was elated when, after some time, the doctor was able to come and evaluate her status. She finally felt free when the bonds were released. She made a mad dash to Saeran's room as soon as they cleared her. 

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"Why can't you go away?!" Ray let his temper get the better of him. He glared at the other him angrily. Unknown just kept giving him that incessant smirk he had started to hate. "Awww, losing your patience?" He mocked. "You can't just get rid of me. I'm trying to tell you that I am a result of what has already happened. You can't get rid of me anymore than you can change the past." He tried to say this with absolute clarity, but really, a situation as screwball as this was anything but. 

"Okay, let me put it this way. If I could disappear, what would you do for Emma? What if Rika comes back? Who would you choose?" 

"I chose Emma once...I would do it again."

"NO- YOU DIDN'T. I DID. I was the one that gave you the defiant push you needed against that bitch. I've been the one driving you to defy her. Without me, you'll be nothing but a goddamn puppet for the rest of your life." Unknown was sounding more like a piece of him, Ray realized. He sighed. 

"So we'll protect her together?" He asked. Unknown plucked at a fuzzball on his shirt as he answered. "When you accept me, there will be no you or me. We'll just be Saeran again."

Ray hesitated for only a moment before nodding. "So how do we get out of here?" Unknown nodded in a nondescript direction. Suddenly, he could hear talking. No...singing. Emma's voice was ringing quietly at first, but when the two started rushing towards it, Emma's rendition of 'You Are my Sunshine" grew deafeningly loud. They kept running, faster and faster until finally they felt like they had reached a crevasse, and the both dove in without a second thought. 

His eyes opened slowly. The singing wasn't really singing at all, he realized. He heard the beep from monitors telling him his heart was working. He turned his head slightly, and smiled at the mop of brown hair on his chest. Of course Emma was here, with him. He was surprised to see Saeyoung sprawled out on a chair across from him, his glasses comically tilted out of position on his nose. He realized that Emma had draped herself over him slightly, and was slumbering peacefully. He looked at the clock and saw that it was almost 6 a.m. He stayed awake, and watched the sky outside his window, waiting for dawn to arrive. 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! There's smut in this chapter! Enjoy~or skip if you don't want to read that~

"We still need to see them again in a month. We don't know what kind of lasting effects that drug could have. The only reason I'm releasing both of them to you is because you seem to have some very influential friends." The doctor nodded curtly, pointedly forgetting to ask about the redhead's relationship to the man and woman. He rifled through some papers in his clipboard and continued on with his day, still maintaining curiosity in the back of his mind about the Han estate's relation to the three oddballs. Saeyoung turned to his brother, who looked a little uncomfortable and small in the clothes he had brought him. Well, more accurately, Vanderwood brought them from his closet. Emma was wearing a simple dress that had been bought from a nearby boutique. Saeyoung was impressed by how well he had guessed her size. He said as much, and Vanderwood just huffed, griping about needing to return to the agency to turn in their work.

"So, Emma, before being recruited into a weird cult, where did you live? I can take you both there." Two pairs of eyes stared expectantly at her and she felt her cheeks flush. "Actually...I was kind of...homeless. Sort of." No one said anything, and before a cricket could chirp to fully mark the awkward situation, Saeran jumped in- "bad childhood. Mom died. Burned down the house." Emma gawked, not just because Saeran somehow KNEW what had happened (though she suspected as much when she was picked up), but also with the acceptance from the two like it was a normal phase in life. Though when she thought of their own childhood, she figured that maybe to them it WAS somewhat expected. 

Saeyoung clapped his hands, "Then I guess you guys are staying with me!" Saeran looked less than thrilled at the idea, but they really had no other options, so before long they were speeding towards a surprisingly residential area. Saeyoung kept looking at his phone whenever he got the chance, so Saeran suspected that something was going on behind the scenes. The anxiety bubbled up in his stomach at the thought, and he laid down in the tiny backseat, feeling small and helpless like a child, wanting the drug so that this feeling would go away. He closed his eyes, blocking out the sound of Emma and Saeyoung's concerned voices. He realized that he had drifted off to sleep only when he was jolted awake. His stomach was no longer churning in a mass of negative emotions, so he was grateful for that. 

"Nice place." Saeran said dismissively when they entered the home. It was about as cordial as he could get with his brother at the moment- despite their communication in the cabin, their relationship was far from repaired. The two were shown to a room that served as a guest room for Saeyoung's agency partner. It was clean, organized, and looked like it could practically belong to anybody and non one at the same time. Emma thanked Saeyoung, who was gone in a flash, dialing a number on his phone. 

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V watched the chaos unfold around him. Believers were being collected left and right by authorities. Their charges were being piled on relentlessly. But the nagging thought remained in his head, and he said as much when Luciel called him. "She's not here. Rika's not anywhere in this building. We would've found her by now." V said, desperation hinting at the corners of his voice. The man on the other end sighed. "Well, we're going to hold the party regardless...I guess she'll show up then." He said, trying to mimic a cool demeanor. V gawked "we're STILL holding the party?!"

"Stop. You're starting to sound like Zen. Yeah, we are. It's a public place that we KNOW Rika will show up to. I'll be able to keep Saeran safe, too."

"No. I'm still the head of the RFA. We are NOT holding the party."

"Listen. To. Me. You Fucked up. You let Rika get this bad because you didn't say a goddamn word to anyone. Now you're going to let me fix this." Luciel's voice was stern and unforgiving. Everything inside of him was screaming at him to stop the party at all costs, but V relented. 

"Okay...You win." He said.

"No, Jihyun. I don't think anyone really wins in this situation." 

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Saeran had slipped into the shower while Saeyoung talked on the phone outside. He was standing under the steady stream of water that flowed like his thoughts. He realized that for the first time in his life, he was thinking for himself. He was making his own decisions. He had been trying to reconcile if what he saw when he was out was a weird dream or not. Had he so completely separated himself into two personalities like that? Had he questioned this possibility before? Was the drug really so powerful? A lot of his years at Mint Eye seemed hazy and artificial now- like he was living in a terrarium the entire time...what was going to happen now? 

He tried to convince himself that everything would be okay, but doubts niggled sneakily into his self- encouragement. These doubts sounded like his mother- telling him he was worthless and unloved. He wondered if he would ever be free from these feelings. He decided to distract himself, and started the process of washing himself with oddly sweet smelling shampoo and conditioner. He heard the door open and grumbled a 'get out, you perv' while he lathered up his hair. "That's not very nice." Emma said, slipping in behind him. He swallowed, remembering the last time they were in a bathing situation together. 

He washed the shampoo out of his hair and was about to turn and look at her before her arms wrapped around him. "Are you okay?" She asked, her hands gliding over his wet skin. "I think. Maybe. I don't know." He said truthfully. "Can I take your mind off of things?" She asked, standing on her toes and bringing her lips to his ear as she did so. He shivered, feeling the rest of him react to the sensation. "You could take my mind off of a nuclear Armageddon is you wanted to." He answered, watching her hand slide lower. She giggled at his response and squeezed some body wash into her hand. His breath caught as she slid it carefully along his length- which was already hard as soon as her breasts pressed against his back. 

He let out a simpering moan and blushed, not fully enjoying the feeling of being under her control. He urged her to stop her stroking and turned to face her. She looked up into his bright green eyes and marveled at the water flowing through his hair and pressing it down so that it slightly obscured his light red eyelashes. He walked forward until her back was pressed against the shower wall. His lips met hers and he didn't waste any time. He tongue dove in and played with hers, his hand pulling her closer to kiss her deeper- his mouth melding into her own. His hands slowly traveled lower and gently played with her clit. She moaned into him, bucking slightly. He smirked, getting harder at the thought of being in control again. 

Their kiss ended, but now he was concerned with another pair of lips on her. He got on his knees and kissed her thigh, stroking it lovingly as he did so. His lips were soft and experimental. She was certain he had never done this for a woman before. But he was also intelligent, and he was testing every inch of her to see what worked and what didn't. She wanted to tell him that as long at it was him, he could recite 'The Communist Manifesto' against her vagina and she'd still cum. But words failed her when his mouth did come into contact with that part of her. At the very least, he realized after a few minutes of prodding that this part of her felt good no matter what. 

His used his teeth and gently nibbled on her swollen clitoris, and before she could stop herself, a low and throaty moan echoed throughout the bathroom. Saeran felt some pride in that. Though he didn't want anyone else to hear the sound she made when she came, he didn't mind if his brother heard how good he was to her before then. If this was going to be a place they would stay at for any amount of time, he wanted it to be clear that every piece of Emma was his and only his. He accentuated this thought with a light suction on her mound s his fingers probed inside of her. Her low moan turned into a shrill squeal at the feeling of his mouth and nimble fingers double-teaming her. 

Her hands dove into his smooth, dripping hair. She buried him deeper into her pussy, frantically pushing her hips back and forth against him. He stopped sucking and his tongue played with her labia, dancing around the tiny pebble in the center. Her juices were flowing into his mouth, and more came when she watched him swallow it all. His tongue would touch her in that terribly sensitive part of her ever so slightly every now and then and send a jolt of electricity through her body. Her legs felt like they were about to buckle, but he kept going, eagerly lapping her up. His fingers started going faster, and he inserted one more, making three and stretching her perfectly. 

He stood up, suddenly, and kissed her hard, his fingers desperately playing with her womanhood and begging her to tip over the brink. She did, finally, and scream died in his throat as she writhed against him, her body slick with a mixture of her juices, water and Saeran's saliva. He continued kissing her, more gently this time, as she came down from her high. He slowly brought his fingers out of her and soaped her up, delighting in the little tortured squeals she gave as he cleaned her up. When she was sufficiently washed, her eyes were almost cat-like when she looked at him. 

Before he could utter another word, she was taking his girth into her mouth. She swallowed him down to the hilt, and he groaned watching himself disappear into her warm, wet mouth. Her tongue danced and played with the tip, and he felt a tingling sensation shoot all the way from the tips of his toes to the top of his head. Her lithe fingers stroked up and down, using the moisture from her tongue as lubrication. Her mouth and hand worked in tandem, creating an unending loop of pleasure for Saeran. He was certain that he couldn't last long, but he wanted to try- he wanted to drag this feeling at for as long as possible. 

She moaned, and the vibration against his cock caused him to grip her head tightly. His toes curled as she brought her other hand up to play with his balls. He stroked them and gently prodded them with her fingernails. He realized that he was saying her name under his breath like a frenzied prayer. Every motion, every tiny action from her brought him irrevocably closer to the edge. He focused on her brown hair- soaked and shiny, as it tumbled down her narrow shoulders. He saw for the first time that she had a small gathering of freckles there. How intimate- the tiny details that burrow into someone's mind when they're drenched in ecstasy. 

Her nails ran down his thigh in a tantalizing jig- tapping and digging and tracing. With a loud 'POP!' she sucked him and released him suddenly, and his strangled cry told her he REALLY liked that. She played with his dick gently with her nails, like she did with his thigh, enjoyed the feeling of tapping on the hardness. His breathing was quicker now, and the flush on his chest was apparent. 

"Emma...I'm going to..." He said, pleadingly. 

"Then do it." She said simply, her golden brown eyes fixing his in place. When she looked up at him like that while jerking him off, he was so close. So very close. When she opened those pink, pouty lips expectantly, still staring at him, he lost it. He watched spurts of cum shoot into her waiting mouth and hit her cheek. She swallowed every drop and washed the bit from her cheek. She immediately stood up and kissed him hard. He blushed, tasting himself on her tongue, and finding that it wasn't too bad. Maybe it was because of all the sweets he was accustomed to eating, but it was...kind of sweet. The two actually finished showering and retreated quickly to their temporary room. 

Meanwhile, Saeyoung sat at his computer in his room, trying to focus on work. Trying. His ears were burning as red as his hair. He was also a little jealous. He never would have thought that his slightly smaller, slightly younger brother would be...experienced. He tapped a few more keys before giving up the fruitless battle and laying in bed. He told himself that he was a good Catholic boy, and had to save himself for marriage. Trying to push back the reality that if he remained an agent, there would never BE a marriage. 

Which would mean that he would never...aw shit. He forced his eyes shut at the painful thought, convincing himself to be happy for his brother. Emma was cute and adored him. Still, he could feel a little jealous, too, couldn't he? 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

"You look nice!" Saeyoung exclaimed, running his hands along Saeran's shoulders. He had given him his classic white and red suit for the RFA party. They only had a few days, but thanks to the hard work Emma put in before things went to shit, they had a decent amount of people coming to the event. Saeyoung was brutally honest with both of them about the possibility of Rika showing up, and they spent a lot of time planning what they would do in that event. They had Plans A- W worked out.

"It's big." Saeran answered flatly. He pushed in the chest area to prove his point. "So we'll get it taken in, otherwise, it fits you pretty well." He rolled his eyes to answer his brother, and both stared when Emma came out in the dress specially ordered for her by Jumin. Saeran felt a pang of annoyance at the thought of another man being able to fit Emma's form so perfectly. Her dress was an off-the-shoulder navy blue mermaid style, and the draping hugged her curves elegantly. 

It seemed that the day of the party came by in a flash. V had silently returned, and everyone met briefly to discuss what happened at Mint Eye headquarters. Understandably, everyone was shocked to hear that the goofy hacker had a brother who was the complete opposite of him,but the twins neglected to go into further detail at the moment about their pasts- and no one dared ask. The party was the most important topic on hand, it seemed, so everyone's efforts culminated into a successful night. Despite this, the low murmur of suspicion and panic reverberated through the members. Yoosung was the only one that desperately wanted Rika to show up- he was convinced that he could talk to her and straighten things out. Everyone ellse also wanted Rika to show up...so that she could be arrested and charged like the other members of her cult. Even Jumin was absolutely cold- hearted in this matter. V was silent for most of these discussions. Only agreeing when he was asked directly if he thought it was the right decision. 

"You look familiar, have we met before?" Deceptively congenial eyes peered into Saeyoung's eyes, as if searching for the past he kept hidden so carefully. He wanted to vomit. This had to be a surprise from Rika- he REALLY hoped she showed up now. 

"No, Prime Minister- it seems I just have one of those faces." He laughed it off. He had acted like so many people before, that it was a simple matter to just NOT act like the bastard son of this man. The Prime Minister seemed to accept that and scurried along to hobnob with the other guests. Saeyoung's eyes watched him, darkening. V Had seen the interaction and approached him. "Are you okay?" He asked. "I really hope I get to talk to that bitch." Was the answer that was spat back at him, and Saeyoung quickly tried to put his goofy and cheerful demeanor back in place. 

Rika was certain that this would work out. Everything was in place. While Saeran looked a bit different, all she had to do was put both of them next to each other and Mr. Prime Minister would get the hint. And if he didn't, she would send him something to remind him of the mistake he made with that woman. She glided easily through the crowd- proud of The Believers who still accompanied her at how deft they were at blending in and distracting Jaehee. She was great at security, but if she was concerned with something else, she would let her guards down. And right now, she was looking for Rika at the entrance while she made her way in through the back. 

"Wow, you can actually dance really well." Emma exclaimed as Saeran twirled her around. He smiled, a slight pink coming to his cheeks. "Yeah, well. I tried to learn it before tonight." He loved her admiration, her smile, her everything. There was nothing he couldn't learn if it meant he could keep making her smile. Whenever he saw those upturned lips, the darkness from his past that still lingered in dark abandoned mines in his head seemed to disappear. He gathered as much courage as he had. "Emma, when this is over. Do you...want to..."

"Everyone, thank you so much for coming to this year's RFA Fundraising event. I am the founder and the person from which this organization is named after." Saeran and Emma stopped cold. Sure enough, there was Rika- looking like she belonged, like this was the most natural thing in the world to her. There was scrambling, but a surprising amount of guests were acting as a kind of barrier between the stage and the other members of RFA. Saeran listened as Emma led him away by his shaking hand. His mind started going blank with panic or fear or both. 

"None of this would have been possible without our amazing members. I don't think they ever got proper acknowledgement. There is, of course, Mr. Jumin Han." Applause. "There is Ms. Jaehee Kang." More Applause. "Mr. Hyun Ryu- better known as Zen to his fans." As Rika was listing off these names, photos appeared behind her. Yoosung- being slight and short- managed to slip past the human barricade. Before Rika could even say his name, he was on stage with her. She smiled, happy to see him, and his heart shattered. "Here's my cousin- who has always been a part of the organization, Yoosung Kim!" She exclaimed. Yoosung watched her gaze go from adoring to calculating. "Then, of course, there's the-" Yoosung placed a hand calmly over the microphone as Seven successfully disabled the screen behind her. Rika was about to start screeching at her cousin for ruining the plan that she had come up with at literally the last minute, but he stared at her calmly. He took the mic. "Everyone, my apologies for having to witness this. This is the RFA's founder, but she is very sick at the moment. We hoped to keep the organization running with the desire to help people with mental illness and other hardships that prevent them from living a fulfilling life...." There were policemen, which didn't surprise Rika, but she was angry that her final surprise didn't go through. She ran from the stage as the remaining Believers kept the cops busy. 

Then, she saw him. Saeran looked like a defenseless fawn to her and it was easy to grip his shaking, sweaty hand and pull him into a room. It seemed that this particular room was used by the catering staff, as it was filled to the brim with tablecloths, napkins and the like. He looked sad and Rika knew she could fix that. She brought the elixir out of her bra. "I only have a little bit, but you can have it. Here." She shoved it to Saeran's mouth, but it was pursed defiantly. Emma started banging on the door. Rika glowered at the sound. "Saeran, that woman tricked you. She's jealous of our paradise.  _Our paradise."_ She emphasized. Saeran was fighting back the weakness he felt. He wanted to leave, but felt rooted to the spot. He had spent most of his life being taught how fruitless it is to fight against your abuser- it only makes everything worse in the end. He felt the spiral dragging him down again. He watched the vile being brought to his quivering lips. 

The door busted open- Emma had found someone that was part of the staff and unlocked it. She saw Rika and din't question the situation much as she made sure her fist connected firmly with the blonde's cheek. The vile fell and shattered on the ground, amidst protests from it's creator. Saeran blinked. He felt as if he had woken up from an odd dream. He watched calmly as Rika was taken away by the cops. Yoosung watched passively, too, but it was obvious that he was holding back a lot of tears. Zen told him how proud he was of him. Jumin was conversing with the remaining police, and V was discreetly speaking with Saeyoung. Saeran surveyed all of this, thinking for the first time that he might find somewhere he belonged again. When Emma's hand gripped his tightly, he knew that he was right- as long as he could stay beside her. 

 

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EPILOGUE: 

"Mooooom...why do we have to do this every month??" The tiny redhead whined at Emma's side.

"Because some very bad people hurt Daddy's heart, so we have to take him to the hospital once a month to make sure it's okay." The little boy seemed to chew on this fact. "So, is Daddy gonna die?" He asked, wide- eyed. Emma forced a laugh- thought she couldn't deny that she had the same fear when the doctor's first discovered Saeran's condition. "No, Haneul- he just has a weak heart. But if we keep taking him to the hospital, it won't be a problem." The little boy smiled and nodded- seeming excited for their visit to pick up his father again. 

They entered the room, to a bit of fanfare from Uncle Saeyoung. Haneul leapt onto his lap eagerly. "We're here to take Daddy home!" He exclaimed as his uncle ruffled his hair. "Aww really? Who's driving?" He asked playfully while the young boy giggled. "I'm only 7! I can't drive a car yet!" Emma smiled and sat down next to her husband. He was quiet, but she knew that this scene genuinely made him happy. He looked at her, with his eyes their natural yellow and sitting behind thin-rimmed oval glasses. His hair had also returned to his original color, and now was tied back in a small ponytail at the base of his neck. 

"Thanks, Emma." He said simply. She grasped his hand in her own like she had done so many times before and kissed his cheek. "Don't thank me. I have lived selfishly and happily because of you. I should be thanking you." He smiled, always encouraged by her words. "By the way..." She continued. He glanced at her questioningly. "How do you think Saeyoung would feel about another nephew?" He remembered how panicked he was when Emma got pregnant with Haneul. He was proud to feel nothing but exultation at this moment. "You sure it's a nephew? I'd prefer a little girl this time." Emma laughed. It was a full, hearty, satisfied laugh. Saeran loved her, her laugh, and every single day of his life that could be filled with her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! I hope everyone enjoyed it! I hope Cheritz gives Sweet Baby Ray a good ending ;_; I tried to give him the best one I could~ Please let me know what you guys thought of it! Also, I write a crap-ton of MysMe fanfiction, so if you haven't already, check out my other stuff, too! And let me know if there's a pairing you want me to write for ^_^


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